We all have different areas that come easily and are unique to each of us where we can grow and choose the life meant for us. Life and circumstances rarely unfold in a straight chronological line exactly the way we want. It doesn’t matter who you are; we will all have those moments where we have to choose happiness in some capacity to honor the gift of our life.
The number one regret a seasoned hospice nurse shared on Facebook was that when people realize that their life is almost over and look back with clarity on how they have lived. She shared how it is easy for the dying to see how many dreams they had that have gone unfulfilled. She would hear over and over with the dying patients she cared for ~ “I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
Over eight years ago, as my life spiralled into a frenzy of complication, I lived in a place where I was tired of doing more and more to make it right. My husband and I were married for ten years before we started having children. At one point, all the people around us thought we were this awesome couple to look up to and emulate. And the truth of the matter is, for the level of maturity we had at that point of our lives, maybe we were.
However, when we started having children, the stakes of life changed. There was a little human being who was watching our lives now, getting all the hard wiring and foundation of how to navigate in this world. I found that my personal fantasy of what a family should be was ruling me. When I was not treated with respect, I shoved it down in the name of keeping the family peace and imagined how I thought a family was ‘supposed’ to be.
It was when I was pregnant with my second child; I realized how much my life energy was spent nurturing others in my life including my husband, my son and now this new baby growing inside of me. All this at the expense of my own inner well being.
My life had slowly become exhausted in every sense, from all the outpouring and without replenishing myself on the inside.
During my second pregnancy, a moment happened where I became consciously aware of how much emotion I was shoving down inside myself. Where was I shoving it? Deep down inside me— what was inside me? A growing baby. I knew this wasn’t right. It didn’t feel good. What did I do? I began to fight back for the injustice in my personal family life at first.
I fought back with rebuttals for disrespectful words spoken to me. I sounded like a nag asking for what I thought was fair reciprocation to nurture the family unit. I went full throttle into trying to make a business venture to give myself financial freedom so I could gain the respect in my family life to make everything okay. I would have power and respect while keeping the family unit intact.
As time started to pass, the more at odds my husband and I became. My business venture was not working yet. I didn’t like what our relationship had become. Our life had changed and it felt like the relationship couldn’t keep up with the demands of responsibilities in both business and family affairs each of us had created. Then, one day my sister in law said to me: “What has happened to you two; you used to be the light in the family and now it is like you are the darkness!”
I realized in that moment, she was right, look at who I have become… this isn’t who I am. I put down my sword of blame, self-defense, took the blindfold off and quit the fight. I surrendered. I remember it as a very distinct moment within myself.
And it was during this same time, my Earth angel, my brother said to me, “You are so much more than this whole experience, just stop GIVING YOUR POWER AWAY. Come to the understanding that you don’t need anything from anyone…NO ONE, not your business partners, not your husband (now my former husband), no one, just start living your TRUTH.”
It was in this awakening from the surrender that I realized in order to give my children the best chances to be the best human beings they could be, I needed to offer them the deep power of honouring true self-respect and happiness. This honor comes from not becoming that which I am not but that which I truly am.
I made a choice because this was my rock bottom and I was no longer unconsciously going to be looking down to continue free falling with my life. I was going to look up, embrace TRUTH and walk in the direction of respecting my dreams.
I really began respecting the happiness that I know every single one of us is meant to live. Everything changed! Some of my changes happened quickly and some slowly unfolded step by step, until one day I realized what a beautiful mosaic of happiness that was this new pattern of my life. Respect your happiness, it is a Divine honoring to do so!
You are always worthy to live your pursuit of happiness, deeply and fully. Yes, always! To honor the gift of your life is to honor your happiness. Commit today and don’t look back. Following your bliss is the art of happiness. Life’s heavy energies lose power when happiness surrounds. Join the conversation as we explore how to empower genuine happiness. You are worthy of your best happy life! When? Now. That’s all we have.
Sharing the Empower11 Radio Show on the Worthy Pursuit of Happiness.