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Claiming Worthiness

Claiming Worthiness

Life and circumstances rarely unfold in a straight chronological line exactly the way we want. It doesn’t matter who you are; we will all have those moments where we have to choose to honor true happiness, the happiness that is born of honoring and respecting our true sense of self-love and worthiness. Over eleven years ago, my life spiraled into a frenzy of complication. My life was on full throttle of doing more and more to make it right. Running on a ton of “effort-ing” to get a feeling I could never quite arrive at. My husband and I were married for ten years before we started having children. At one point, all the people around us thought we were this inspiring amazing couple to look up to and emulate. And the truth of the matter is, for the level of maturity we had at that point of our lives, maybe we were. However, when we started having children, the stakes of life changed. There was a little human being who was watching our lives now, getting all the hard wiring and foundation of how to navigate the world. I found that my personal fantasy of what a family “should be” was running and ruling me. When I was not treated with respect, I shoved it down in the name of keeping the family peace. I lived in how I imagined a family was ‘supposed’ to be. It was when I was pregnant with my second child, I realized how much my life energy was spent nurturing others, including my husband, my son, and now this new baby growing inside of...
My Family’s Story on Death, Loss and Grief

My Family’s Story on Death, Loss and Grief

My Family’s Story on Death and Loss… May 6th was his birthday. This was a date my mom always acknowledged every year as I was growing up. This is the only whole family photo we have. It was an unplanned family photo and quickly taken one day. (That’s me next to my baby brother on the right!) That sunny August midwestern day, I remember the air was heavy. The humidity was sweltering as my dad placed in my little seven-year-old hands a big pair of scissors. He told me to go outside to the flower beds and cut fresh flowers. I don’t remember the other flowers that surrounded the grand, gigantic green fountain; I just remember the snapdragons. Yes, the snapdragons. The name itself “snapdragons” seemed so magical to me. I remember loving the bursting color gradients, I cut heaping handfuls in every color combination. Hours later that same day, I stood shoulder to shoulder with my three brothers and little sister in front of our baby brother’s casket. I remember fighting my tears and how badly I wanted to cry. This was my first funeral. I didn’t know if I was supposed to cry. Just the day before, life was an ordinary day as my youngest brother, a year and half old, woke up bright and happy for life in our shared bedroom. No one knew by the end of the night, life in our family would forever be changed when he accidentally drowned in our family pool. I remember he looked like a statue of an angel lying in his casket as each of us placed our fresh...

Tribute Of Gratitude To Inspiring Mothers

Today, as I reflect on the actual birth day of my youngest child. I can’t help but feel a deeply moving gratitude for all those mothers who have inspired me along the way with their unwavering tenacity to protect, honesty to guide, “knowing” to mother, gift to give in times where true unselfish strength is needed and pure downright inspiration to do the right thing in the best interest of our children.

Touched By Love

Today, I discovered a post my twelve year old put on the internet that I never knew about. How does that happen? I am an in touch mom. My boys have very closely monitored electronic lives.

Went to Bed Crying Last Night

Last night, I went to bed crying. Wow! I had definitely went through many nights in the past of distraught feelings, with wanting my life to be different. Those nights were spent crying alone in bed. However, last night was different! I went to bed laughing so hard, I was crying! All cuddled in my covers with pillows, I was in my comfortable spot ready to fall asleep….when Jack started a conversation that spiralled into such a hilarious realm, I was laughing out of control; so hard I was crying! Wow! Can life re-shape itself when we are willing to let go of the parts of our lives that are not loving us? To allow the love that matches our heart’s desires to come forth? On this Easter Sunday the symbol of resurrection from the highest part of life is honored. I wish for all to know the power that is held within our lives to resurrect the greatest change toward a life that is loving and feels great. In the beginning of 2010, I wrote a list in my Vision Book of my truest dreams, I wanted to bring forth in my life. Here is an example of only a couple of my listed desires…. To be so happy with my life that a smile illuminates strongly and radiantly from me that I am oozing with happiness! I work with fun people who surround me with laughter! I had no idea that shortly after I wrote my list about so much of what was true to my heart that I would begin working on a business project with...